The Dreary Existence

They say pain makes you wax eloquent.
Buoyed by such confidence in the wisdom of the crowd (in MBA jargon, they would have called it the Tribal Wisdom!) I try my hands yet again at blogging.
Ah, but where’s the pain you say?
The worse ones ain’t physical, and cut deep. I’m now reminded of a metaphor I drew a long time back, before my hands were singed and burned by the disease called Love. A toddler who’s been led by hand on a steep incline uphill and now left all alone to fend for himself. Naturally, Jack came tumbling down. Jill ran away with Naali Ka Keeda.

And now I’m Jack’s broken heart.
Cheated. Hurt like never before. Vulnerable. Helpless. In anguish. An angry ugly purple welt in the place that hurts the most, a patch that rankles like hell. For being taken on the trip of my lifetime.
Yeah, I ought not stretch your sympathy too much, eh? For someone who pledged oaths for a life-time with me, all it took was one strong realization a fine blue morning. And out came the fangs. Pulled all the plugs of my life away, leaving me stumped and stupefied on the ground, without having realized what hit me. I’m still trying to find my frame of reference and decode the mangled up remains of life. 42 ain’t really very consoling an answer you know. It runs deeper yet. And I’m still digging.

I miss a lot of things in my new life. I cannot help reflect on the bitter sweet irony of almost all the songs that I listen to, because at a past point in my life, all of it held beautiful promises and were pregnant with meaning. Now they sound like gibberish and I can only smile in riposte. Oh How I hate love songs. I cannot bear to look up at the beautiful gibbous moon wreathed in smiley lines. Ridiculous, you say? Trust me; wait until you fall in love. Clichéd, and yet I cannot forgo making this dig, now I know why they call it ‘falling’ in love! J And yet, the new life comes easy to me. Probably because I’m away from where most of the action had happened. I’m actually living the good life at home now. Books, music, movies, food, love (yeah, it has multiple hues, you idiot!) I’m content being the icon of extreme self-indulgence at home before I start back on the corporate rat race. Worse news again, my joining has been postponed by a week again. Damn! Welcome to thassophobic heartbroken existence for a little while longer !