Misfortune when it hits you, hits you double hard. Or should I be saying a million zillion gazillion times harder that you expect – and Lo!
The night I touched down at Bangalore, Gods decided to kinda enter the play and play hard-ball with me. The skies let rip. Pour. And Man, pour it did. Cats, dogs, every feline and canine relative of them too came roaring down!
And to top it off, imagine stuck outside a Bangalore railway station in the bloody pouring rain haggling with those Bloodthirsty fiendish relatives of Dracula, otherwise called the Auto Drivers (who were charging me more than just an arm and leg to be driven to civilized parts of the city!!!)
I pity myself. (Goddammit all those screwballs oughta be hung upside down and roasted in the fires deep inside the rainforests of Brazil, I am referring to the auto-wallahs! They make your life hell in Bangalore for sure!)
Oh by the way, Chuck Palahniuk (One of my hot favorite picks) has come out with his latest book, called ...You Guessed it..RANT!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Woes
I am just plain bored struck by the fatal thassophobic need to express my rumblings to the world.
“Six weeks ago, I was just like you.
And then…….I met her.”
Sounds like the perfect beginning to…… Movie? Book? My Autobiography? Come to think of it, just about anything?
(Oh-kay I need to let you in on this one, this is actually the voice over of James McAvoy talking about apna Jolie-Ben – use the Marathi nasal twang when you say B’en! – for the trailer of Wanted. Re-aa-ally looking forward to this one! Jolie-Ben Kicks Ass, dodges bullets and looks sooo shmooking HOT!)
But this really happened…To me. ..But it ain’t six weeks, more like six years when it happened. Ok, here am getting ahead of myself. Rein in, strap up and listen.
Three days back, I watched my best friend get married to her sweetheart.
No, and I did not try and thwart the wedding like Julia Roberts. Nope, I watched on the sidelines, helping out the countless aunties and uncles in their chores, joking with them, jostling for space to throw the flowers on the bride and groom taking their eternal vows (wonder how that word sounds so f**king similar to woes!) I think I bored you guys enough about her and me. And the amazing history we have. Surprising, I was like an eternal favorite with all of them, the first name on their lips for most of everything, the model son whom they bragged about and yet, there I was on the sideline without a girl in my life to share the beautiful moments.
I was musing on this fact on the train back to Bangalore. It was a day express and I got the seat closest to the door and hence, I was most of the times hanging out of the doors. Straining to catch the wet scent of rain on the winds. Having the wind first caress and tease your face in a tantalizingly manner, and then without warning lash out mercilessly, leaving you gasping. I watched the Ghats whiz past in a blur, the lovely green mountains disappearing off in the distance around a bend, to suddenly come back on you, daunting and imposingly large. I would smirk and reason that out in my head, Everybody have their ego issues! And that’s Nature’s manner of making you feel like small and insignificant. But I guessed a little too soon, because the cosmos wasn’t done showing off its might yet. The skies opened up with silver lightning that cleaved the purplish dark sky into two. Dark overcast clouds that suddenly filled up the space, rumbling and crackling in the distant air. Smells of ozone. Rain. And the sudden overbearing brackish smell of sodden water as the train shot across an old decaying bridge. I hung back, a little scared of the rusting reddish-brown iron beams that shot past me accompanied by the deafening noise of the train-wheels on a bridge. The whole scene of a train rattling at above hundred miles on an iron bridge with that frighteningly explosive noise filling up your ears, is definitely a scary part of any train journey. Try sitting on the edge of the doors, watching those beams whiz past you, while your ears are ringing with that noise. It takes a brave man to do that!
Anyways with such picturesque scenes unfolding in front of me, I got into the introspective mood and that kinda spoilt most of it :-)
( And here I go back diving into the cesspools of misery cloyingly sorrounding my life!)
Have you ever felt cheated? Have you ever felt lower than the whale-shit at the bottom of the ocean? Like someone’s really pulled the rug from beneath your feet? My life unfolding in those few nano-seconds before I hit the floor made me feel all that and more!
(Oh-kay, I’m distracted here by this image of a Honk-Kong fight movie where the hero is falling, almost parallel to the ground and the whole world gets stuck in a time-warp! It is that feeling!)
“Six weeks ago, I was just like you.
And then…….I met her.”
Sounds like the perfect beginning to…… Movie? Book? My Autobiography? Come to think of it, just about anything?
(Oh-kay I need to let you in on this one, this is actually the voice over of James McAvoy talking about apna Jolie-Ben – use the Marathi nasal twang when you say B’en! – for the trailer of Wanted. Re-aa-ally looking forward to this one! Jolie-Ben Kicks Ass, dodges bullets and looks sooo shmooking HOT!)
But this really happened…To me. ..But it ain’t six weeks, more like six years when it happened. Ok, here am getting ahead of myself. Rein in, strap up and listen.
Three days back, I watched my best friend get married to her sweetheart.
No, and I did not try and thwart the wedding like Julia Roberts. Nope, I watched on the sidelines, helping out the countless aunties and uncles in their chores, joking with them, jostling for space to throw the flowers on the bride and groom taking their eternal vows (wonder how that word sounds so f**king similar to woes!) I think I bored you guys enough about her and me. And the amazing history we have. Surprising, I was like an eternal favorite with all of them, the first name on their lips for most of everything, the model son whom they bragged about and yet, there I was on the sideline without a girl in my life to share the beautiful moments.
I was musing on this fact on the train back to Bangalore. It was a day express and I got the seat closest to the door and hence, I was most of the times hanging out of the doors. Straining to catch the wet scent of rain on the winds. Having the wind first caress and tease your face in a tantalizingly manner, and then without warning lash out mercilessly, leaving you gasping. I watched the Ghats whiz past in a blur, the lovely green mountains disappearing off in the distance around a bend, to suddenly come back on you, daunting and imposingly large. I would smirk and reason that out in my head, Everybody have their ego issues! And that’s Nature’s manner of making you feel like small and insignificant. But I guessed a little too soon, because the cosmos wasn’t done showing off its might yet. The skies opened up with silver lightning that cleaved the purplish dark sky into two. Dark overcast clouds that suddenly filled up the space, rumbling and crackling in the distant air. Smells of ozone. Rain. And the sudden overbearing brackish smell of sodden water as the train shot across an old decaying bridge. I hung back, a little scared of the rusting reddish-brown iron beams that shot past me accompanied by the deafening noise of the train-wheels on a bridge. The whole scene of a train rattling at above hundred miles on an iron bridge with that frighteningly explosive noise filling up your ears, is definitely a scary part of any train journey. Try sitting on the edge of the doors, watching those beams whiz past you, while your ears are ringing with that noise. It takes a brave man to do that!
Anyways with such picturesque scenes unfolding in front of me, I got into the introspective mood and that kinda spoilt most of it :-)
( And here I go back diving into the cesspools of misery cloyingly sorrounding my life!)
Have you ever felt cheated? Have you ever felt lower than the whale-shit at the bottom of the ocean? Like someone’s really pulled the rug from beneath your feet? My life unfolding in those few nano-seconds before I hit the floor made me feel all that and more!
(Oh-kay, I’m distracted here by this image of a Honk-Kong fight movie where the hero is falling, almost parallel to the ground and the whole world gets stuck in a time-warp! It is that feeling!)
Friday, August 15, 2008
The BlackBox Called Marraige
Marriage....our last chance to grow up.
A. is getting married on the 21st of this month.
I oughta feel on top of the world for her as she’s finally marrying her sweetheart from college. I am pretty kicked about it, of course and really glad for her.
And yet, somewhere at the back of my heart, something gnaws.
Persistent and un-ignorable!
She’s in split minds with that small cloud of anxiety hovering over her all the time. I just got off the phone with her; she’s catching the evening flight home.
“Its goodbye Chennai from Ms.A now I guess. Next time I will be Mrs. A!”
Rueful and hesitant?
I just realized how big the deal about marriage is. It is such a scary decision you are taking, something that is going to shape the whole of your future. To spend the rest of your whole lives together. Of course you are in love with this person and know him/her like even he himself doesn’t know. But then again, that small wave of anxiety wastes no time in expanding to be a furious tsunami lashing your fragile mind-space. I mean, think about it, you are leaving the cozy confines of a social infrastructure you have built for years all around you and this sudden black string that’s binding you to him, uproots you from all that and you end up in an alien country all by yourself.
Well, sorry, A. sweetie pie, that would be painting the canvas black now, no? I’m just trying to step in to the shoes and checking how it feels to get married. I ought to feel really happy. But I’m not.
On two accounts –
One, I’m going to miss the wedding. Damn. Sometimes I hate my job! I’m going only on Sunday to her home.
Two, I can no longer call up my best friend at twelve in the night and speak away to glory. It’s tough, as I’m on a rebound and I really was getting used to this comfort factor in my life. Of someone to lean back on and open the floodgates. (Now you sound like a sissy, YUCK!)
But truly, A. you are a rock-star and thanks for being around for me.
You know the best kind of friendships that endure? Wherein every time you get back to your buddy, you can so easily slip into yourself and dive deep into some silly conversation or debate on profound truths in your life just as easily, forgetting the years that rolled by.
Congratulations A. and all the best for an amazing life ahead. You deserve everything you have and lots more to come, for being what you are and just being yourself. Miss You.
A. is getting married on the 21st of this month.
I oughta feel on top of the world for her as she’s finally marrying her sweetheart from college. I am pretty kicked about it, of course and really glad for her.
And yet, somewhere at the back of my heart, something gnaws.
Persistent and un-ignorable!
She’s in split minds with that small cloud of anxiety hovering over her all the time. I just got off the phone with her; she’s catching the evening flight home.
“Its goodbye Chennai from Ms.A now I guess. Next time I will be Mrs. A!”
Rueful and hesitant?
I just realized how big the deal about marriage is. It is such a scary decision you are taking, something that is going to shape the whole of your future. To spend the rest of your whole lives together. Of course you are in love with this person and know him/her like even he himself doesn’t know. But then again, that small wave of anxiety wastes no time in expanding to be a furious tsunami lashing your fragile mind-space. I mean, think about it, you are leaving the cozy confines of a social infrastructure you have built for years all around you and this sudden black string that’s binding you to him, uproots you from all that and you end up in an alien country all by yourself.
Well, sorry, A. sweetie pie, that would be painting the canvas black now, no? I’m just trying to step in to the shoes and checking how it feels to get married. I ought to feel really happy. But I’m not.
On two accounts –
One, I’m going to miss the wedding. Damn. Sometimes I hate my job! I’m going only on Sunday to her home.
Two, I can no longer call up my best friend at twelve in the night and speak away to glory. It’s tough, as I’m on a rebound and I really was getting used to this comfort factor in my life. Of someone to lean back on and open the floodgates. (Now you sound like a sissy, YUCK!)
But truly, A. you are a rock-star and thanks for being around for me.
You know the best kind of friendships that endure? Wherein every time you get back to your buddy, you can so easily slip into yourself and dive deep into some silly conversation or debate on profound truths in your life just as easily, forgetting the years that rolled by.
Congratulations A. and all the best for an amazing life ahead. You deserve everything you have and lots more to come, for being what you are and just being yourself. Miss You.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Lookout
A Discovery.....
Have you guys heard of this sleepy Heist thriller called the Lookout? A very low profile kinda movie which has gone on to become one of the biggest cult hits on the DVD circuit. Panned by many critics as one of the best movies of 2007, it really is a brilliant effort by debut director, Scott Frank. Run of the Mill story, but the screenplay, acting and camera work really takes it to the next level. I loved it.
Stephen Gordon Levitt plays the title role. Chris Pratt, the popular high school good looking rich brat who has his ‘whole life ripped out from underneath him’ in one deathly car crash. What happens next in his life and how he struggles to cope with his inner demons, his guilt and finally manages to gain the upper hand in this duel forms the backdrop of the whole story. The part where it gets engaging (and where it starts to become that thriller), is a planned bank heist. Where he is enlisted to play the lookout during the job. The same bank where he plays a night janitor because he’s got a short term memory loss after the horrible accident. The entry of Mathew Goode, who plays the antagonist, kinda spices things up and things slowly pick up speed. How Chris stays ahead of the goons in spite of his shortcomings is engaging. But what I loved about the movie were two things –
One, there was not a single wasted sequence or shot. Very measured, all very well-knit together frames.
Two, the opening sequence. Call me a sucker, but the music of the movie which is nothing to write home about, found in me a big fan. I discovered this new band called My Morning Jacket. The opening soundtrack is mindblowing-ly awesome! Such amazing tabs and a full two minutes and eighteen seconds of the gat just jamming away to pure glory. Really nice, you should check the first five minutes of the movie when the opening credits roll on. And of course the digitally created fire-fly sequence. Damn Cute! I sure would love to drive my girl out on a such a night where the sky is lit by stars and fire-flies and nothing else in an open sports car. Sigh!
Take it from me, a big music buff, One Big Holiday by My Morning Jacket is a damn feel-good-track for you to wake up to in the mornings!
Have you guys heard of this sleepy Heist thriller called the Lookout? A very low profile kinda movie which has gone on to become one of the biggest cult hits on the DVD circuit. Panned by many critics as one of the best movies of 2007, it really is a brilliant effort by debut director, Scott Frank. Run of the Mill story, but the screenplay, acting and camera work really takes it to the next level. I loved it.
Stephen Gordon Levitt plays the title role. Chris Pratt, the popular high school good looking rich brat who has his ‘whole life ripped out from underneath him’ in one deathly car crash. What happens next in his life and how he struggles to cope with his inner demons, his guilt and finally manages to gain the upper hand in this duel forms the backdrop of the whole story. The part where it gets engaging (and where it starts to become that thriller), is a planned bank heist. Where he is enlisted to play the lookout during the job. The same bank where he plays a night janitor because he’s got a short term memory loss after the horrible accident. The entry of Mathew Goode, who plays the antagonist, kinda spices things up and things slowly pick up speed. How Chris stays ahead of the goons in spite of his shortcomings is engaging. But what I loved about the movie were two things –
One, there was not a single wasted sequence or shot. Very measured, all very well-knit together frames.
Two, the opening sequence. Call me a sucker, but the music of the movie which is nothing to write home about, found in me a big fan. I discovered this new band called My Morning Jacket. The opening soundtrack is mindblowing-ly awesome! Such amazing tabs and a full two minutes and eighteen seconds of the gat just jamming away to pure glory. Really nice, you should check the first five minutes of the movie when the opening credits roll on. And of course the digitally created fire-fly sequence. Damn Cute! I sure would love to drive my girl out on a such a night where the sky is lit by stars and fire-flies and nothing else in an open sports car. Sigh!
Take it from me, a big music buff, One Big Holiday by My Morning Jacket is a damn feel-good-track for you to wake up to in the mornings!
Circle of Life
Circle of Life…
What goes around comes around.
You throw something into the sea, be sure it’s gonna wash up right back into your front yard one fine day. (Or the back yard?) Dead, bloated and reeking wet. Of dead memories. Of times you want to bury deep in your backyard.
Today I burnt the snap. And flushed the remains down the commode. Kinda puerile, juvenile and childish. Yeah Okay I admit, I borrowed it out of the movie but hey! It works, eh!
Sigh….Amazing circle of life I’ve had – from being mere acquaintances, to friends, soul mates, to fall in love, undergo betrayal and heart-break, back to friends again, now acquaintances to probably fading away to oblivion. I walked that way. It was not worth all the sweat and tears. It’s a bitter pill I swallow but the memory now fails me here. For that part of life has been washed out with some bright white paint that hurts your eyes to even look at it. And Hence I dig no more. I buried all the skeletons in my closet. No more to haunt me now. And I’m glad to be living again.
Chasing the finer things in life.
In the hues of rainbow colors. And any bright color that helps me forget. Or well, just helping me dive deep in and don’t give a damn about it.
What goes around comes around.
You throw something into the sea, be sure it’s gonna wash up right back into your front yard one fine day. (Or the back yard?) Dead, bloated and reeking wet. Of dead memories. Of times you want to bury deep in your backyard.
Today I burnt the snap. And flushed the remains down the commode. Kinda puerile, juvenile and childish. Yeah Okay I admit, I borrowed it out of the movie but hey! It works, eh!
Sigh….Amazing circle of life I’ve had – from being mere acquaintances, to friends, soul mates, to fall in love, undergo betrayal and heart-break, back to friends again, now acquaintances to probably fading away to oblivion. I walked that way. It was not worth all the sweat and tears. It’s a bitter pill I swallow but the memory now fails me here. For that part of life has been washed out with some bright white paint that hurts your eyes to even look at it. And Hence I dig no more. I buried all the skeletons in my closet. No more to haunt me now. And I’m glad to be living again.
Chasing the finer things in life.
In the hues of rainbow colors. And any bright color that helps me forget. Or well, just helping me dive deep in and don’t give a damn about it.
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