Woes

I am just plain bored struck by the fatal thassophobic need to express my rumblings to the world.

“Six weeks ago, I was just like you.
And then…….I met her.”

Sounds like the perfect beginning to…… Movie? Book? My Autobiography? Come to think of it, just about anything?

(Oh-kay I need to let you in on this one, this is actually the voice over of James McAvoy talking about apna Jolie-Ben – use the Marathi nasal twang when you say B’en! – for the trailer of Wanted. Re-aa-ally looking forward to this one! Jolie-Ben Kicks Ass, dodges bullets and looks sooo shmooking HOT!)

But this really happened…To me. ..But it ain’t six weeks, more like six years when it happened. Ok, here am getting ahead of myself. Rein in, strap up and listen.

Three days back, I watched my best friend get married to her sweetheart.
No, and I did not try and thwart the wedding like Julia Roberts. Nope, I watched on the sidelines, helping out the countless aunties and uncles in their chores, joking with them, jostling for space to throw the flowers on the bride and groom taking their eternal vows (wonder how that word sounds so f**king similar to woes!) I think I bored you guys enough about her and me. And the amazing history we have. Surprising, I was like an eternal favorite with all of them, the first name on their lips for most of everything, the model son whom they bragged about and yet, there I was on the sideline without a girl in my life to share the beautiful moments.

I was musing on this fact on the train back to Bangalore. It was a day express and I got the seat closest to the door and hence, I was most of the times hanging out of the doors. Straining to catch the wet scent of rain on the winds. Having the wind first caress and tease your face in a tantalizingly manner, and then without warning lash out mercilessly, leaving you gasping. I watched the Ghats whiz past in a blur, the lovely green mountains disappearing off in the distance around a bend, to suddenly come back on you, daunting and imposingly large. I would smirk and reason that out in my head, Everybody have their ego issues! And that’s Nature’s manner of making you feel like small and insignificant. But I guessed a little too soon, because the cosmos wasn’t done showing off its might yet. The skies opened up with silver lightning that cleaved the purplish dark sky into two. Dark overcast clouds that suddenly filled up the space, rumbling and crackling in the distant air. Smells of ozone. Rain. And the sudden overbearing brackish smell of sodden water as the train shot across an old decaying bridge. I hung back, a little scared of the rusting reddish-brown iron beams that shot past me accompanied by the deafening noise of the train-wheels on a bridge. The whole scene of a train rattling at above hundred miles on an iron bridge with that frighteningly explosive noise filling up your ears, is definitely a scary part of any train journey. Try sitting on the edge of the doors, watching those beams whiz past you, while your ears are ringing with that noise. It takes a brave man to do that!
Anyways with such picturesque scenes unfolding in front of me, I got into the introspective mood and that kinda spoilt most of it :-)

( And here I go back diving into the cesspools of misery cloyingly sorrounding my life!)

Have you ever felt cheated? Have you ever felt lower than the whale-shit at the bottom of the ocean? Like someone’s really pulled the rug from beneath your feet? My life unfolding in those few nano-seconds before I hit the floor made me feel all that and more!
(Oh-kay, I’m distracted here by this image of a Honk-Kong fight movie where the hero is falling, almost parallel to the ground and the whole world gets stuck in a time-warp! It is that feeling!)