Marriage....our last chance to grow up.
A. is getting married on the 21st of this month.
I oughta feel on top of the world for her as she’s finally marrying her sweetheart from college. I am pretty kicked about it, of course and really glad for her.
And yet, somewhere at the back of my heart, something gnaws.
Persistent and un-ignorable!
She’s in split minds with that small cloud of anxiety hovering over her all the time. I just got off the phone with her; she’s catching the evening flight home.
“Its goodbye Chennai from Ms.A now I guess. Next time I will be Mrs. A!”
Rueful and hesitant?
I just realized how big the deal about marriage is. It is such a scary decision you are taking, something that is going to shape the whole of your future. To spend the rest of your whole lives together. Of course you are in love with this person and know him/her like even he himself doesn’t know. But then again, that small wave of anxiety wastes no time in expanding to be a furious tsunami lashing your fragile mind-space. I mean, think about it, you are leaving the cozy confines of a social infrastructure you have built for years all around you and this sudden black string that’s binding you to him, uproots you from all that and you end up in an alien country all by yourself.
Well, sorry, A. sweetie pie, that would be painting the canvas black now, no? I’m just trying to step in to the shoes and checking how it feels to get married. I ought to feel really happy. But I’m not.
On two accounts –
One, I’m going to miss the wedding. Damn. Sometimes I hate my job! I’m going only on Sunday to her home.
Two, I can no longer call up my best friend at twelve in the night and speak away to glory. It’s tough, as I’m on a rebound and I really was getting used to this comfort factor in my life. Of someone to lean back on and open the floodgates. (Now you sound like a sissy, YUCK!)
But truly, A. you are a rock-star and thanks for being around for me.
You know the best kind of friendships that endure? Wherein every time you get back to your buddy, you can so easily slip into yourself and dive deep into some silly conversation or debate on profound truths in your life just as easily, forgetting the years that rolled by.
Congratulations A. and all the best for an amazing life ahead. You deserve everything you have and lots more to come, for being what you are and just being yourself. Miss You.
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2 comments:
marriage..
may be it is really a big big deal..
but i do want to go for the big deal :P
...
Hey...Am soo happy i stumbled upon this post!! U took me back to those times when i was passing thru exactly the same anxieties, that u hav so well described just by imagining urself in my shoes!! :)
After passing thru the initial phase and somewhat settled with all anxieties attached, i can surely invite u to be a part of this journey of togetherness, love and whole lot of challenging stuffs that comes along with it!
You get to grow as u hav never been...Every day u learn new ways to share ur life...trying to make it more meaningful and full of fun!
Jaldi shaadi karr loo bhai!! :)
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