The Quandary

You need to focus all the misguided energy in the right direction, lest you burn yourself up pining away over broken hearts and missed promises.
I plunged myself back into that beautiful imaginary world of gunslingers and phantoms and demons. I gave myself up on that road to the dark tower, to die in the company of brave Roland Deschain and his Ka-tet, in the quest for his mystic Dark Tower and to die protecting the beautiful red rose. The forlorn patch of land between 42nd and 43rd avenue in New York.
I took to writing with a passion. I finish a chapter on the pirate lords at sea, come back to my hero Jake’s days of glory at Emerald Isle. And here I’m stumped. Coz it’s all about the roaring passion between Jake and the only girl he ever loved, Alice that I needtcha pen now/ and I laugh at Ka. The cruel joke that Ka has pulled on me. Here was I, trying hard to get out from an unbelievably beautiful five years of my life, where I thought I was in love, but now have understood it all to be an imaginary phase of my previous life where I was bombed out of my skull on ‘love’ and sugar-pie nothings whispered into my ears!! And I was supposed to wax eloquent about the one emotion which I had so foolishly pursued with relentless passion, all the while chasing a ghost. L
Do you understand the depth of ironical quandary I’m in? I cannot move on. I need to face the ghosts. I need to flesh out the love story between Jake and his girl. The one who dies later on. Ah! There I shall redeem myself. In the death of Jake’s love/ but before we reach the juicy gory details of Alice’s merciless murder, I need to plough through the dreary fake lands of whispered nothings and hollow promises Jake and Alice exchange with each other. Oh Lord, lend me flight through these islands of make-believe!